2 Samuel 13:1-6 Amnon and Tamar
1 In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David. 2 Amnon became frustrated to the point of illness on account of his sister Tamar, for she was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her. 3 Now Amnon had a friend named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David's brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 4 He asked Amnon, "Why do you, the king's son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won't you tell me?" Amnon said to him, "I'm in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister." 5 "Go to bed and pretend to be ill," Jonadab said. "When your father comes to see you, say to him, 'I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.' " 6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, "I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand."
Here is the whole chapter on Crosswalk.com.
If we focus on the horror and injustice of this story, we might conclude that God is not just and does not hear a young girl when she cries for help. Instead, let's take Amnon's point of view and consider that God puts all kinds of safeguards around us when we feel obsessive desires. Amnon felt a healthy restraint. Tamar wore special clothes. She had people around her all the time. Virgin girls in the Middle East have rights, despite what western women think. He could face severe punishment. Getting his sister alone seemed impossible and rightly so. Think how this scene might have played out. If Jonadab had been a cheerful housewife, he would say, "You are in love! How lovely! You will marry the beautiful princess, rescue her from her arrogant, scheming family and protect her from the king's many enemies." Alas, no. Casual sex, then as now, is about gratifying one´s own desires, not about loving and protecting the other person. Instead, Jonadab unfastened the safety restraint and let Amnon spin away to disaster. Jonadab said, "Why are you sitting around moping? It's just sex. Arranging it won´t be hard at all and nothing bad will happen to you." Amnon followed his advice down to the letter. Such is the power of friendly advice, for good and bad.
We also have friends who give us good and bad advice. Our friends are there to take our side and love us no matter what. Imagine this friendly advice. "You resent that your new husband spends all his time at the gym? You deserve better. He´s treating you so badly. After everything you do for him, he should be home in time for dinner. You should put your foot down and demand more time for yourself. It worked for Karen." Never mind that Karen's husband gained 30 pounds and people snicker about them. Or this scenario: "That dress is perfect for you! I know you weren't going to buy anything, but you deserve it. Nothing bad will happen to you." At least not until your husband gets the bill, and even that can be smoothed over with lingerie. When we want something so desperately, even good things, we are willing to bend the rules, to downplay sin, and to discount how it might hurt other people. Our friends can unwittingly push us towards self-pity or overspending or thinking we deserve more for ourselves.
We have safeguards to keep us from gratifying ourselves at the expense of others. We have parents and husbands and families and budgets. Amnon´s story is a good reminder to choose our friends wisely. Most importantly, we have God´s word, Jesus´s example and the prompting of the Holy Spirit to guide us in our own decisions and to help us give godly advice.
Moving every two years means that you have to keep meeting new people. As exciting as that is, you also have to keep being confronted with your own failings. I know that I come on too strong and I want to dial down the intensity. Now that I think about it, my whole life is one intense experience after another. I wonder how I have survived. Some things are intense by nature, like surviving cancer, and others are intense for us alone. For example, teaching a preschool Bible study for five years was painfully intense, though I couldn't tell you why. Language training was intense, mostly because I had to talk about news and politics every day. The setting was hostile to say the least. When I gave my opinion, as a Texan (conservative, in other words) the teacher actually asked me, "What would be your opinion NOT as a Texan?" As if I could magically imagine myself in Vermont and have the opinions of the rest of the class.
2 Samuel 13: Amnon hated Tamar with intense hatred.
1 Thessalonians 2:17, Paul longed intensely for absent friends.
Revelations 16:9, During the apocalypse, the sun burns people with intense heat.
So intensity can be good and bad. I going to think and write about these verses for a few days. Who knows, maybe it will turn into a book and a healing phenomenon. Send me a comment :-) but be patient please while I update my page.
We also have friends who give us good and bad advice. Our friends are there to take our side and love us no matter what. Imagine this friendly advice. "You resent that your new husband spends all his time at the gym? You deserve better. He´s treating you so badly. After everything you do for him, he should be home in time for dinner. You should put your foot down and demand more time for yourself. It worked for Karen." Never mind that Karen's husband gained 30 pounds and people snicker about them. Or this scenario: "That dress is perfect for you! I know you weren't going to buy anything, but you deserve it. Nothing bad will happen to you." At least not until your husband gets the bill, and even that can be smoothed over with lingerie. When we want something so desperately, even good things, we are willing to bend the rules, to downplay sin, and to discount how it might hurt other people. Our friends can unwittingly push us towards self-pity or overspending or thinking we deserve more for ourselves.
We have safeguards to keep us from gratifying ourselves at the expense of others. We have parents and husbands and families and budgets. Amnon´s story is a good reminder to choose our friends wisely. Most importantly, we have God´s word, Jesus´s example and the prompting of the Holy Spirit to guide us in our own decisions and to help us give godly advice.
Intense 1 of 9: Making sense of "Intense"
Moving every two years means that you have to keep meeting new people. As exciting as that is, you also have to keep being confronted with your own failings. I know that I come on too strong and I want to dial down the intensity. Now that I think about it, my whole life is one intense experience after another. I wonder how I have survived. Some things are intense by nature, like surviving cancer, and others are intense for us alone. For example, teaching a preschool Bible study for five years was painfully intense, though I couldn't tell you why. Language training was intense, mostly because I had to talk about news and politics every day. The setting was hostile to say the least. When I gave my opinion, as a Texan (conservative, in other words) the teacher actually asked me, "What would be your opinion NOT as a Texan?" As if I could magically imagine myself in Vermont and have the opinions of the rest of the class.
2 Samuel 13: Amnon hated Tamar with intense hatred.
1 Thessalonians 2:17, Paul longed intensely for absent friends.
Revelations 16:9, During the apocalypse, the sun burns people with intense heat.
So intensity can be good and bad. I going to think and write about these verses for a few days. Who knows, maybe it will turn into a book and a healing phenomenon. Send me a comment :-) but be patient please while I update my page.
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