Anger management: assuming the worst

Imagine that you are the woman in red, minding your own business, getting your recycle-able grocery bags out of the back seat.  The woman in blue is saying something in Spanish, but all you catch is "license plate" and "twisted."  You just parked, legally and properly, in a nearly empty lot.  The only thing that might appear odd to the woman is that you have diplomatic red plates instead of white, which means that you don't have to pay for parking.


(photo credit, actually a celebrity fender bender)

I looked at her, but I didn't smile or acknowledge her at all, because if a Spanish stranger stops to say something, there can be only one reason:  she is complaining and criticizing something you have just done.  I didn't even bother to look at the plate.

Later I saw it.  It was indeed bent as if one side had been pulled forward.  I don't know what happened or why she thought she should point it out to me, but I was struck by my reaction to her.  Later that day, Gary Thomas had this to say about couples stuck in a cycle of anger: "They look at every situation as more of the same, they always assume the worst and never give the benefit of the doubt."  God help me, I have an angry, disfunctional relationship with a whole country.

Awareness is the first step to recovery, they say.  I have in mind a second step.  The husband of my Spanish friend from school loaned me 800 pages of Spanish history in fine print and assured me that it was written in a very readable manner.  His favorite king was ____(? I already forgot), who was king during Spain's greatest period of empire.  So that was where I started reading.  If Spain is anything like the US in lack of historical knowledge, I need a fallback question.  For example, "Who is your favorite and least favorite soccer player?"  The goal of that project would be to find videos of good and bad sportsmanship to show to Wyatt.  He needs help giving the benefit of the doubt without assuming the worst. German soccer, I hear, lacks the prima dona's and theatrics.  That is probably why we never hear anything about it.