Car talk

Five things I learned while chatting with Gary the auto shop manager:
1.  What a firewall really is:
We are now on a first-name basis with Gary at Ben White Automotive.  On the first visit, he said, "Take that 'check engine light' back to Covert Ford.  They're good people and stand behind their cars, even if you did buy it used and as-is."  He was the maintenance manager for Covert for 13 years.  We heard all about the property easement dispute between the car dealership and Rudy's Barbecue right next door and the firewall that Rudy's had to put up as a result.  "Rudy's could burn to the ground and them Covert brothers wouldn't feel a thing.  That's how good that firewall is."
     Sure enough, Covert did the $1000 worth of work, no questions asked.

2.  Monster truck tires equal monster truck bills.  "Some idiot comes in with no brakes.  I tell him he shirred the brake housing clean off because those wide tires make the wheels lean in.  He says, 'but I didn't hear a thing.'  Of course he didn't hear a thing 'cause those tires make so d*#@! much noise."

3.  How to have a tailgate party without involving a wrecker.  "You got one of them keyless entries on the door.  Just don't go off and lock your keys in the car, thinking you can get into it with the keypad.  I see it every time there's a game.  They leave on the dome light and have the stereo playing for the tailgate party, and then they throw the keys in the car and go to the game.  When they get back, the battery is dead and they have to call a wrecker."

4.  How to measure conjugal love by the depth of the tire tread.  "Some lady DRIVES in here on a flat and her tires are completely slick.  She has three kids in the car and is driving up from Mexico.  I'm thinking, 'Lady, your husband must not care very much for your life, to let you drive up from Met-see-coh on bald tires.  I wouldn't let my wife drive to the house on tires like that and it's only 8 miles from here.'  Then the lady asks if I have any USED tires to sell her.  NO-I-DO-NOT-SELL-USED-TIRES.  It ought to be illegal."

Gary's rant about tires was in response to a terrible roll-over accident that killed four adults while five kids survived.  The papers blamed a blow-out.  His point is that the tires aren't to blame.

He gave our tires the thumbs-up for our road trip.  Y'all be safe out there and take care of those cars!